No Scratch

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Review by Friday Foster

[opening night, September 21, 2002]

In a post-apocalyptic world, Scratch is the name of the game. You gotta have money, scratch, pesos, zulex whatever in a place where everything including some time in relatively fresh air is at a premium. Food is scarce and fresh food scarcer. Private residences are even scarcer. An actor troupe with enough space for reasonably comfortable seating, a working bathroom that can provide shelter from the bad air and occasional riots with live entertainment to boot is the place to be. This is true even if murder is in the offing…

Such is the premise of No Scratch, Garett’s new play running at the Fremont Center Theater though November 3^rd. Despite the bleak landscape, No Scratch is a rollicking comedy where the troupe has successfully been able to survive by duping passersby that their crazy every day lives are some sort of play worth shelling out $100 or more to see. There is a play somewhere in all the mayhem that the actors all seem to care about enough to bicker amongst one another, but mostly it’s about the money. For the ‘audience,’ it sort of about the play. They complain loudly when things don’t make sense, but won’t leave because what’s outside is decidedly worse than the strange doings on the makeshift stage.

Somewhere in the middle of all this daily craziness, an added level of insanity has arrived in the person of the troupe’s next door neighbor who has mistaken the actors for hitmen and wants them to kill her boyfriend who has the audacity of not leaving when she asked him to go. The actors are game because they just acquired some fancy new props safely tucked away in violin cases. This, they feel, makes them ideally suited for the job. As with everything else in No Scratch, this assumption is not as simple as it seems. Mayhem on the grandest scale ensues.

Garett plays Wallace, a fast thinking salesman who has discovered a cache of loudly colored polyester fabric which he thinks is ideally suited as costumes for the troupe. He also fancies himself a theater critic and when necessary, a fighter of hecklers (though that doesn’t often work in his favor). The cast features many familiar faces from soaps and various TV series. The work is fast and furious and all the actors seem to be having a really great time. The real audience is the biggest beneficiary of the fast paced mayhem.

"It reminds me a lot of my improv days," Garett said after the play. "I mean, everything was scripted but it felt like improv. The lines were coming so fast that we were stepping over each other and skipping things entirely, but the play never lost momentum. I was having a great time out there."

When asked about the considerable pounding Wallace takes, Garett quipped that in his last long term job he got beat up a lot. ‘The director really wanted to take advantage of my stunt experience. He just had me knocked all around that stage."

The other more interesting aspect of Wallace was his very loud, polyester based apparel which the director spent all of about $3.00 for the entire outfit at a thrift store. Garett really liked that aspect of his character.

"I’m thinking of keeping those pants," Garett said. "I mean, I think they’d look great on the golf course."

In closing, Garett said. "It’s a great time. These are wonderful performers. We’re all having fun. Come on out."

Disclaimer: Review submitted